Indian Problems!

Dear Readers,

I am writing this post to depict the funny realities of my life as an Indian, as well as life of the people around me. This is all based on my observations about my people.

This post does not intend to hurt anyone's sentiments. So I request you to take this write-up with a pinch of salt. I am sure you too would be able to connect to the following events and end up smiling by the time you finish reading the last sentence.

Where did my life go, Penny?

So, here we go!

• Parents say 'Don't talk to boys'! Middle School: Don't talk to boys. High School: Don't talk to boys. College: Don't talk to boys. Age 23: It's time for you to get married!

• Every Indian wedding you go to, your American friends ask if it was arranged.

• I spend an hour in the sun and I turn 50 shades of brown.

• 34% of Microsoft employees are Indian. Because of this, I think Microsoft Word shouldn't think my name is a spelling error.

• Keep your friends close and coupons closer!

• All these people talk about how much they smoke, and the closest I've ever gotten is inhaling the agarbatti (Those scent sticks you light up)

• Parents can turn the simplest conversations into something extremely awkward.

• Mom: Go do this, then do that, now do this. After that do this. Me: I barely started the first thing!

• You're Indian when "be there in 5 minutes" turns into 45 minutes.

• The best part about having a complicated name is that teachers are less likely to call on you.

• Your Mom tells embarrassing stories about you to the other aunties.

• When there is another Indian in my class, we either become friends or we are in direct competition for higher grades.

• I always have a love hate relationship with autocorrect when it comes to Indian names.

• I didn't choose the Indian life. The Indian life threatened me with a chappal until I submitted to its will.

His innocent eyes...

What do you think about the child in this picture? Who is he? What he does? What does the innocence in his eyes say?

He has put colorful dots on his face and also drawn a mustache with a black paint, to give himself a funny look and attract everyone’s attention. But he hasn’t done all this for any fancy dress competition in school… Because he doesn’t go to school…

Yes, you read it just right… He doesn’t to school. This kid has such a funny get up in order to earn his living. I've seen him several times during my journey back home. He travels in trains plying between Mumbai, Aurangabad, and Pune, with a lady, who is supposedly his mother. She beats a small drum like thing called the damru for some music to make an opening of the show. 

The child performs various activities in order to please the passengers. He dances at the beats of damru with one hand one his head and another on the side his thin waist. He sings the sizzling numbers from Bollywood, and says some funny jingles.

He then rolls over on his hands along the aisle from one end to the other and back again. Then he passes his delicate and flexible body through a ring which might be measuring barely 9 inches in diameter! After performing his tactics repeatedly in front of all the passengers, he goes around through each one of them… with a mucky bowl in his tiny hand, so that people put some money in it…

And he is not alone, not the only one. Hundreds of kids are engaged in such activities.
What an irony! This is our ‘Young India’! Where kids don’t go to school, they can’t read or write. They are pushed into all these odd jobs at such a young age.

Instead of singing rhymes and reciting poems these kids have Bollywood songs on their lips. Instead of books they carry a bowl to beg. Instead of eating nutritious food at the age of physical development, they feed themselves on leftovers they manage to get from somewhere.They are not kids with robust health, they are malnourished.

They don’t have ambitions of becoming doctors or engineers; their only aim is not to sleep on an empty stomach at night. And what are we doing? We just care to entertain ourselves during the cumbersome journey. When this kid was performing in the train, passengers were looking at his acts with awe.

They were talking among each other gesturing towards the kid. They also threw in a few coins in his bowl at the end of the act. But they fail to see the plight in his innocent eyes.They think they are doing charity and helping the kid. But in fact they are encouraging child-labour thus strengthening the roots of such evils.

And our Government…what is it doing? Apart from making fake promises and then turning their back on the people of the country?

Can we know where all the money that is allotted on paper, mind it, I said on paper, for the upliftment and the education of the downtrodden? Where are schools for these kids built? Are the located in remote locations where these kids can’t reach? Or they simply don’t exist? And if at all they exist, we don’t have well trained teachers. And that’s because teachers are not well paid, so they too don’t care to continue.

Certain government schools have an arrangement of ‘mid-day meals’ in order to attract more and more students to school and also to retain the existing count of students. But what good it does? The quality of the meal is so pathetic. There are no standards of hygiene. Children fall prey to food poisoning. It’s not a school, its inviting one’s own death.

By telling you about the small kid, and bringing the reality to your notice, I’m trying to appeal to you not to do anything that aggravates the condition of these innocent kids. Don’t encourage child labour and beggary, let us do something to educate a child…. And make India a better place to dream of a good life… 

And if everyone starts doing it, a chain reaction will definitely start. Think of the distant future. The kids we help, will learn, grow up, live a decent life and they too will help other downtrodden kids with their education, and other facilities...This will definitely bring a change. Gradual, but much faster than what our Government does.

I’ll too soon do something for a child, when I stand firmly on my own feet…that’s my promise….

You too make a promise to give a well deserved better life to an under-priviledged child…

Rituals in a Sindhi Wedding.

Dear Bloggies, we all know an Indian wedding is a big, fat and grand affair. There are certain ceremonies and rituals that are performed across all the castes in a Hindu Community. Today I wish to give you all an insight of what goes into a Sindhi wedding to make it a lavish and grand event. >>> READ MORE

Inter-caste Marriages- The great Indian disposition.

Pre-script- I've penned down this post for sharing my views with you, as well as letting out my anger regarding the topic. Your views are most welcome! :)

As I had mentioned in one of my previous posts, that I will be writing a few pieces on 'wedding', and the various happening at my place, the emotional aspect, ideologies of the people regarding this sacred tie, here I'm to tell you about the hot debate going on between the two sets of people, regarding the inter-caste marriages.

http://superfabiobros.deviantart.com/

So let me start from my home itself!

Caste-system has been a rigid aspect if the Indian society since ever. It has made our tradition unfair and prejudiced.
Our elders have an orthodox mindset and are skeptical about the survival of such weddings due to the cultural differences. And it brings disgrace to one's family, is what they say and believe. There is loss of reputation, and torture at the hands of the society.

On the other hand, we, the people of my generation, that is me and my cousins are totally in the favor of love marriages and inter-caste marriages.
Discrimination on the basis of caste and religion would pose a threat to social equality, peace and brotherhood. It hamper unity among the people of the nation.

The elders in my family are too much concerned about the talks of the people. 'What would people say?' is the big question that dominates their views and is the major reason behind their cynicism. They fail to see the love and dedication of the two people towards each other. I've been a part of many inter-caste weddings of my distant relatives. The atmosphere is weird. Everyone in the two families is wearing a fake smile. From the inside, everyone is sad, depressed, unhappy with this tie. Why do they have to react like this? I mean, it is something you cannot stop from happening. You cannot stop two people from loving each other. You cannot put an end to their desire to live their lives together. Then why not accept it, and be happy and celebrate?

Parents should be happy that their child has chosen a right person for himself/herself. Right person here implies the one who is ready to get committed wholeheartedly, and be loyal to the partner for the life-time.

This is not the story of my family alone, it is the story of the majority of people in the Indian society.
The question in my mind is, 'Why?' Why we are so much against such marriages? What is wrong in loving a person who doesn't belong to your community? Is he an alien from the Mars?
No! He is also a human being who is made of the same bone and flesh. Why can't we think above all this discrimination? Just because we are worried what people would say?

I say...whom would you put first? Your very own kids? Or the society that will come only to dine at the wedding, talk, comment, leave and forget? How far would you go to keep the people happy? We need to bring a change in this pattern. Parents must support their child when it comes to choosing a life-partner. Its the compatibility that counts. The girl/boy should be given a chance to introduce himself/herself to the other family and win respect and love, highlight the qualities, bond with the family members.

If parents support it, be proud of it, celebrate the wedding, be happy, only then you can convince the other people in the society that such marriages are not a taboo. Mouths would be sealed. By cribbing, crying and making sad faces in public will only invite more trouble and bitter words from the people.

I've seen many such incidences where parents emotionally blackmail their child and force them into a marriage with a person of their choice. Now tell me, who will assure that such a marriage works out fine?  Aren't three lives and their future being put on stake?
Why would you want to push your child into the fire of guilt, sorrow, and restlessness?

I've read in newspapers, about the honor killings in such cases. How can parents get their child murdered just because they love someone from the other community? How gruesome is the act!

So think over it...Especially the Indian readers. What is the guarantee that your child would have a great life with the person just because he belongs to your community? Or is it better to let them tie a knot with someone they know, respect, and love?

Marriage is a sacred institution...Lets not malign it with our baseless arguments and inhuman approach.

Now playing- Kuchh to log kahenge....Logon ka kaam hai kehna....
Chhodo bekaar ki baaton me kahin beet na jaye rainaa....

Wedding bells are ringing...

Hello Buddies..I missed blogging. It has been really long that I wrote my previous post...So here I'm back to blogging!

Mazaak mazaak mein sab log aagaye! Chalo fir ab shuru kartein hain! :p

So talking about stuff related to wedding is on my mind now, as there is a wedding at my place. My next few posts will be about the things related to marriage, my state of mind, thought process and many complex stuff about the bond that I and the concept of marriage share...Its a love-hate relationship...And I'm still unclear which emotion is stronger.

My cousin who got engaged in May is set to get married in January next year. I was kind of shocked...I mean she is younger than me...I'm barely 22...So I kind of freaked out.

And what made me go mad at her and yell at her and taunt her endlessly was the fact that she quit her studies..She studied only till class 12. I was not trying to influence her or anything. Just out of sisterly love, that I wanted a better future for her. She has got a good guy, good in-laws, but creating an own identity working with dedication, and consistency gives a high, an awesome sense of satisfaction. And if you discharge your professional and personal responsibilities and maintaining the perfect balance, what else can be better?

I'm in Mumbai. There must be hustle and bustle at my cousin's place. Shopping, deciding upon design of the wedding cards, gifts for the groom's family, deciding upon the venue and the menu...must be fun..

The fragrance of henna will soon fill the home. Home would be dolled up with marigold and roses. Lights will brighten the atmosphere. Music will cheer up loved ones...Love is in the air...and so are the expectations of my relatives that I too get an interview call from a Momma of an eligible bachelor!

Hey Dude! Stay away!

I'm scared..to go to marriages...Fat aunties hover around my Momma & bombard her with questions like,

• Where is your daughter? 
• What is her name?
• How old is she?
• What she does?
• How much she earns?
• There is a guy, you want to meet his family? From Mumbai...Business class...Guy is in America..28 years old...6 feet tall..

Oh My God! Why would I want to marry a Mumbai guy? I don't like this city.

I don't want to leave my family alone and go to USA thousands of miles away, I'm the elder child and want to look after my family..

Ya that's a different thing altogether that my family still looks after me, literally. *LOLZZ*

I don't want a guy this older..and I don't want a giraffe either..I'm 5 feet and 1/2 inch tall for God's sake...exactly that much!

My Momma dearest is the best...She answers each question so tactfully..She knows I don't want to marry so soon. And she supports my decision. She wants to see me doing something big. She is the one who taught me to dream...And my Daddy too supports her. They share similar views when it comes to me.

But Dad sometimes teases me saying he would marry me off after 3 years. I make a scornful face and threaten him that I will run away to Himalayas and become a Sanyasi! Well I am not sure if there are any sanyasis there in the Himalayas.

He laughs it off! *Sighs* No internet and mobile phone network there...Shucks, they know my weakness..

Now I'm really scared to go to my cousin's wedding and this is the only reason...I know Mom will shoo away everyone..But still...I don't like it...

Mom Dad will drag me to marriage. Its my cousin this time. Not some sister of my Aunt's daughter-in-law's uncle's brother-in-law..I hope you got it.. So I gotta go :( I am planning to dress up simple and look dumb. Thank god I have braces and specs already! *Grins*

Kaun Banega Crorepati!

It’s a Sunday…and its really lousy… I woke up at 1 pm! And had a nice and hot cup of tea.

Then just sat down using Facebook. Then just switched on the TV when having my lunch. Oh! It’s all so boring. No good movie, no good serial being aired. TV too seems to be lousy on Sunday. I browsed through a variety of channels, jumping from one to another. Then I finally stopped on Sony, to watch one of my favorite shows Kaun Banega Crorepati.

A lady named Amita Singh from Gwalior is on the hotseat. She is into Administrative services. She has come with her daughter, who is a dentist. She is a lady from a normal middle-class Indian family, who has come to the sets of KBC with lots of dreams like everyone does. She has just won a whooping amount of INR 50,000,00!

KBC is more than just a game show. It is a show where the citizens of India get a chance to utilize their capabilities and knowledge and earn prize money. And to make it bigger, we have India’s most famous, most lovable and the most handsome, Mr. Amitabh Bacchan to host this show, Panch koti maha mani Kaun Banega Crorepati! People get a double treat here, the fortune and a chance to meet its host Big B. They praise him so much, and tell how they are feeling being with him, singing songs, narrating incidents, telling about the hardships of their life, and also have good time talking about funny things about themselves. Big B has a great sense of humour, contestants and the audience burst into laughter.

It is commendable how Big B talks wise, lightens up the atmosphere and brings a big grin on everyone’s face. He also passes a message for the benefit of the society at large. 

I love this show, because not only it has Mr. Amitabh Bacchan, but also because it makes so many people happy. The people who have knowledge, who are intellectually capable enough, who have many dreams, but Lady Luck hasn’t favoured them yet. This show is indeed a kind gesture, an initiative to give such people a chance to win a fortune so that they can fulfil their dreams. I know how it feels when you want something very essential and you can’t afford to have it. How it feels when you can’t give a good education to your child. How it feels when you don’t have your own property to call it your home. I’m indeed very happy that we have people in our country who have taken initiative to bring up such a game show, and help the not so very prosperous people realise their dreams. It makes me very happy seeing people winning huge amounts and going home with a big smile on their face.

May God bless such thoughtful and kind hearted people. Live long KBC!

My roomie Lily...

THANKS LILY....THIS ONE IS FOR YOU... :-)
So getting back to the people I came across in this  new place. There are two categories.
Number One- The people I ran away from, that I had mentioned earlier.
Number Two- The people I became friends with, about whom I will tell now.
A few days before I left the old place in March, a new girl moved into my room. At that point of time my mind had already drowned in the ocean of negativity. I got an impression that all the girls are bad. So I decided that I won't initiate any conversation with this new girl. I had just returned from my office that evening, and I saw her sitting on her bed talking to someone on a call. She had her shoes on, which was enough to upset me a bit, as I had mopped the floor that morning.
I interrupted her for a minute and requested her to remove her shoes and keep it where I kept mine after she was done with the conversation. She nodded and said okay and got back to talking on her cell.
I got fresh and continued with my daily activities, like making tea and relaxing for a while and then cooking dinner and chatting away with my family on phone. Till then she was sitting with the other two crackpots and chit-chatting. She seemed to be getting along well with them. I was worried about having a potential crackpot in my room!

After an hour or so she came in and started unpacking her things. I asked her name, just out of courtesy. She said her name was Lily. She asked mine. Then we inquired about each other's job. She said she was in Mumbai for an internship which would last for two months. She said she was a second year MBA student.
I don't know how, but we started talking. I asked her about her family and her college. She told me a lot about it. I came to know her real name was Lalita. And I too told her a lot about myself. Soon she was sitting next to me and showing me pictures of her home, college, family and friends on her laptop. And that night we chatted away till 4 a.m. in the morning. OMG!!! I couldn't believe it! I got through her. Soon, I realized that she wasn't bad at all. In fact, she was awesome!
After a couple of days, we became good friends. We used to talk and laugh a lot together. It was actually a bliss having Lily with me, because my mind was already messed up big time and stressed out after coming to Mumbai. Things were now getting better.
One day, I insisted Lily to come with me to my home for a weekend. And she was more than happy. So on a Saturday we left for my home after office. We had fun during the journey. When we reached home, we freshened up and had lunch. Mmmmmm, there is no match for home-cooked food. We ate till our heart's content. I had an appointment with my dentist that evening. Dad planned we all will go out for dinner too. Till the time I introduced Lily to my neighbors and my friends. We played with the baby Shagun who lives next door. She is my sweetheart. We clicked pictures too.


We reached my dentist's clinic in the evening. Lily looked around and I told her many a things about my treatment and all. My turn came soon. We both went in. Lily put of the flash of her cell phone's camera and silently took pictures when my dental check up was going on. I noticed her dare-devilry from the corner of my eye. I was about to burst into laughter but somehow controlled myself, thinking that my dentist won't like all this non-sense (Non-sense for him, fun for us).


So after  my appointment was over, we stepped out and laughed incessantly. We were waiting for my dad to come. By the time we went in the chocolate shop and had a pastry and a chocolate. We clicked pictures there too. Eating less and laughing more. It was like hysteria.

Soon Dad came and off we went for dinner. We had Chinese food, that's our all time favorite. Oh God! We were so stuffed!
Then we went home and had tea and Lily told more about herself to my Mom and Dad. I was too tired. I went to bed. I woke up at 12 in the afternoon next day. Lily and my younger sister, whom we lovingly call Tillu were chatting till 5 in the morning and still sleeping.
Lol! they were looking so cute!
Mom, Dad and Tillu just loved Lily! Tillu especially... as she really had nice time chatting away with her all night long. Soon it was time to go back to Mumbai and resume with our work.
So did we... We came back with one of the sweetest memories...
We still had great time in Mumbai....till she finished with her internship and went back to Kolkata. But we are still in touch, in spite of all the distances and being busy with our lives...
Not only she made my days better, but also changed my perception about people in a big way...
When I recall the day I first met her and when I was thinking I won't talk, I can't  believe that person has become a great friend now!
She taught me a lot through her experiences...I learnt how the world works. She made me capable and mentally strong enough to accept the fact that there exists a mix of good and bad people in the world. But you just can't run away from the people you don't like. You have to deal with them, and in such a manner that I works in your favor. She made me realize I too can do this, making best out of worst.

Lessons learnt:

• Not all people are bad.
• We should never let negativity get the better of us.
• Life is unpredictable. You never know, what will be the next great thing in store for you...

Till then, enjoy your life, love your friends, cherish your memories....

May God bless us all!

Humanity binds us all together...

It was a pleasant Saturday evening of 17th September...I was really excited as I was going home for the weekend. I left from office at 5.30 pm to catch a train scheduled after an hour. I happily trotted towards the station, and bought a pack of chips and cookies each for the three and half hours journey. Oh!! I was starving as I had to skip my lunch in order to compensate for the time as I had to leave early from office.
I was worried if I would get a seat, since I didn't have reservation as it was a last minute plan. Its really troublesome and tiring to stand throughout journey, and I kept my fingers crossed. So at 6.30 pm I boarded the train.
This world is full of weird kind of people. There were a couple of ladies who had two reservations and yet occupied three seats. There were many people like them. So many people were standing. They requested them repeatedly to shift a bit and let one person sit...but no..they were so adamant.
But as I said, there exists an equally kind and empathetic variety of people. They showed us where the empty seats were in another bogie. And yippie!!! I got one and it saved all the trouble that would have been caused to me standing all the way amidst the maddening crowd and their chatter.
After 45 minutes at next station there was a rush again. And that station too is so much crowded. Local trains come, people rush in and out of it. They push each other like animals...its like a mad bull fight.
While all this was happening out there, I was sitting comfortably on my window seat and munching on cookies and reading Mumbai Mirror. A lady dressed in a simple yet beautiful satin red and white salwaar-kameez came in and occupied the seat right opposite to that of mine.
She looked a bit upset. As if she was going to burst into tears. And she did. She called up someone, may be her family back home. She spoke in Sindhi, very softly. I could hear just a few words. She was talking about some kind of wound, fracture, something something...pain, fall..something something.
I then gave it a thought for a second and looked down at her. Her dress near the knee was soiled and it had stains of blood too. It was simple to guess that she was injured. When she hung up, I asked her what was wrong and why was she sobbing. She told me that she fell down on the platform when she was dashed by the crowd when the local train arrived. She showed me her left foot. OMG! It was swollen. It reminded me of my Mom who too slipped while walking and got such swollen foot. It was a fracture! It was 20 months back.
This lady was in great pain. Many passengers noticed her agony. Fortunately there was a doctor on the adjacent berth. She came in to relieve her a bit. She requested people to give some hard and flat object like cardboard. She applied an ointment on the foot and tied it with a scarf to a piece of cardboard that a passenger had offered. And the other two passengers vacated the entire berth so that she could keep her leg straight. The doc gave her a pain-killer. Another lady offered her a cup of coffee. She now looked relieved. She dozed off for next two and half hours, till we reached Nasik. The doc helped her to alight. Her husband had come to receive her. She thanked the doc and all the passengers for being so kind to her.
Its good to see good people in our otherwise selfish world.
This incident assures me that humanity still exists on this planet. Otherwise, who would have helped that injured lady?
And how would I've got a seat?
Its 'Humanity' that binds us all.... atleast in bad times....

The people around me....

This is about the people whom I met after I came to Mumbai. I was always in touch with my family and friends back home through phone. But I was still alone in one sense. I didn't have anyone to tell me how to recognize people, who is how? Or how to tackle a troublesome bunch people? What to say at times? Or break the ice and mix up with them?
This was because till then I was  always in my cocoon. I barely interacted with people other than my parents, relatives and some close friends. I wasn't interested in  other people's life, their thoughts, their intentions. So I never knew the importance of being worldly-wise.
I never knew this world has so many good and kind people. Neither that I knew  that there were a variety of people equally shrewd and cunning. Its when I left my home that I realized this fact about people, and also my fault of living in my dreamy world all the time.
In Mumbai I had to live as a paying guest. That meant sharing a room with a girl or two, sharing my personal space, respecting each other's differences, and watching what I spoke.
Let me tell you something about my two room mates. They were like 'Sugar coated chilies'.
I spoke frankly and freely to them right from day one. I didn't think about how they were and is it OK to be so open. I had just assumed that they must be good, like my friends back home. They came to know I'm a simple and naive person who couldn't understand the deeper meaning of the things said. But I soon understood what they were. I'm a rebel. And so I could no longer tolerate them being bad to me unnecessarily. It resulted in Cold war kind of atmosphere. And that led to quarrels. And more quarrels. The atmosphere was always tensed up. I never even looked at them, or said anything. It was just that they taunted me endlessly on my weaknesses and provoked me to say something which ultimately led to wars between me and them.
I wanted peace after a hectic day at work. I couldn't bear all that anymore and so after a month I left the place.
My fault in this case was that I didn't watch my mouth. I couldn't just be frank with my room-mates. Because they were after all strangers to me. Revealing anything that would help them take advantage of me could have been bad enough.
Its from this experience that I learnt a lesson. That at first I should be conservative yet kind enough in my behavior. I must gauge a person's mind. If good enough then be friends...and if otherwise then maintain a safe distance and just be neutral.