So close.

She was lost in her day dreams with a cup of coffee clutched in her hands. The memory from the previous day was still lingering in her mind...She had a divine smile on her serene angelic face, reflecting a sense of satisfaction....Her eyes fixated on a pair of pigeons coochi-cooing on the branch of the tree outside her window..

When I hug you...I feel I'm home!

"She suddenly got up and landed on his lap...putting her arms around his neck. She gazed at him with anticipation with a cutest smile on  her face. He was amazed, he hasn't expected it. She was a shy girl and they were in this relationship since 2 years now. Yes, I know it sounds strange...But it's true...

He held her by her waist...smiling back at her. They looked in each other's eye...Then he burst into a laughter and asked her, "What?"

"What?", she replied his question with a question, her voice all peppy and chirpy..

"Why are you staring at me like that?", he asked, all baffled...

"Well I'm staring at my boyfriend. You have a problem with that?", yet another question accompanied with a grin.

"If you keep on doing that, he might hug you..."

"Oh really??? Why doesn't he do it then?", she whispered in her soft voice...

And he hugged her tight. She curled into a ball...creeping inside the cocoon of his hug like a tiny caterpillar...

She felt so secure...there in his arms...in the warmth of his love...

He brushed his fingers through her silky soft hair....And gave a peck on her cheek! She turned red....I told you she was shy...

She buried herself deeper into his chest. She could feel his heart beat. The heart that loved her so dearly...

For the first time in a life of quarter of a century, she was so close to a guy...The guy who was the love of her life. For whom she prayed to the Almighty, he was her world...

She felt close to him...to his mind, body, heart and soul.....So close....."

P.S.- I wrote this post because I generally hear people talking about their first kiss. I've never heard anyone talking about their first hug! I wonder if they even remember that...Hence, this post.

I feel, a lovely bear hug is the best way to express your love...no words needed..A hug tells it all!

Happy hugging! :D

Image courtesy: http://xrysostom.blogspot.in/

I miss her...

I feel guilty. I regret till date for my action. I curse myself for saying those words.....But a bullet once fired and the bitter words once spoken cannot be taken back. Both of them pierce your heart until the pain subsides and numbness creeps in.

She was my friend...a long-distance one. She was a good friend despite the age gap of 8 years. We knew each other for 3 months then. She treated me like her little sister, adored me.

We used to chat for hours everyday. She shared her personal stories with me. She spoke her heart to me. She cried. She confined in me. She thought I empathized with her, I understood her. She was assured that yes, she has someone to talk to...while the rest of the world showered their bitter taunts on her. Most of the times, I really did empathize. I cared. But at some point of time, I had doubts.

And one day I disillusioned her. We were video chatting. I spoke, I wanted to clarify my doubt...I questioned her, about a possibility. She was shocked. Her eyes brimmed with tears...she tried not to cry. But what could she do, when her little sister asked her something like that? She didn't ever expect me to be brutal to her like the rest of the world was.

She went numb for a moment...Silence persisted between the two of us. Finally she spoke up. She cursed me for not trusting her...She cursed herself for trusting me. The tears she was fighting back took the better of her. May be she misunderstood my question for an allegation...How could I accuse her for what she didn't do? May be I asked a wrong question. May be I misunderstood her state of mind. She cursed me, herself, the world endlessly..She had lost all hopes of finding a good and a genuine human being on this planet.

She went silent again...recalling the last few moments in disbelief. I could see a rage in her eyes. I could feel her pain. She didn't give me a chance to explain. She hung up saying she doesn't want to see me ever again.

I felt too bad..how could I do this to her? She confined in me thinking I was the right person she could open her heart to..I felt like a fool..I had regrets. I still have regrets..till this moment. It has been three months that I haven't heard from her. I tried contacting her, but to no avail. I wish she somehow reads this post. I want a chance to talk to her...To apologize...May be I will never win back her trust...But I want her back in my life..I miss her...

Of love and lies...- Part 2

For Sahil, the day seemed to pass too slow...He couldn't sleep well that night. He was restless. This was unusual. How restless can a guy become after seeing a girl? Strange...but true. Finally it was dawn. He woke up earlier than usual, got ready and zoomed off on his bike to college. He was there much before-time.

He parked his bike and walked towards the Commerce and Management College in the campus. He had some friends from his Junior College who were now studying Business Management. But meeting old pals was juat an excuse. The only reason Sahil went there was that girl he saw outside the  class the other day.

He wished to see her. To know something about her, atleast the name. He was there to solve the mystery that what was pulling him towards her? Was it love?

Image Courtesy: Gotit.com

Sahil met his friends after a long time. They were happy to see him. They insisted on going to canteen for a cup of coffee. So off they went to the college canteen. It was a lively place full of young girls and boys, laughing and chatting away, enjoying the food, sharing happy moments...perhaps creating memories that they will look back at after a few years...

They choose a corner table that could accommodate the 7 friends. They ordered coffee and some snacks. Sahil looked uninterested as his mind was still somewhere else...

He looked around at the crowd. Someone again caught his eye. Someone again caged his mind. Someone again numbed his senses making him so vulnerable, unable to think straight.

Soon she left from the canteen too...leaving Sahil on his own again. Sahil too went back to his class after having a good time with his old buddies.

Lectures began. He tried to concentrate. But his mind drifted away somewhere else...

After the lectures he roamed alone for sometime in the college, visited college canteen, with a hope to catch her glimpse. He visited his friends frequently just to see her there. He felt uneasy and painful whenever she suddenly disappeared from his sight. 

Image Courtesy: Deviantart.com

Days passed, weeks passed, Sahil went to the college, he attended the lectures but his eyes were glued outside. He grew restless day by day. He did nothing, till one day when like other days the hopes of sighting her around were almost diminished. How can he not get over her? How can he not get over this feeling?

Is it true love? And not just infatuation?

He couldn't take it anymore....He was in love...indeed!

He finally decided to quit B.Sc and take a transfer to BBM (Bachelor of Business Management)! 

'Was it a joke?', Sahil's parents asked him. He somehow convinced them that he was no more interested in Science and wanted to change the stream. They agreed after all the convincing part. Sahil managed to get an internal transfer from B.Sc to BBM. He was happy...for now he could always have her in front of his eyes.

They were now in the same classroom. Sahil tried his best to concentrate on lectures as he didn't want to let his parents down. He still had that sense of responsibility in himself.

She was there, he saw her and his heart skipped a beat, he was palpitating, and he was still

looking at her, just imagining how beautiful some one can be, though she was sitting far away, and there was no sound he could hear, he just kept on looking at her, for him it was looking at an angel. He noticed the way she talked, he noticed the way she was enlightening the class, he noticed each and every action she did, the time was slipping like fine sand slips from the palms. He was trying his best to capture her in his memories.

As the lectures ended Sahil rushed out seeking her, and there she was standing with other girls, the centre of attraction, the apple of everyone's eye He stopped, and stood nearby with his friends, with his eyes still glued on her. Until now there was no such idea in his mind that she should be in his life. He imagined, is this real or just a fantastic dream he was having. But soon she started moving towards the street, and he could no do anything but to watch her go away again. She took a cab and went away, taking away all the happiness he had all this time looking at her.

But this time he had her, in his memories, the sweet memories. He rushed home and went to sleep with a stupid idea of having her in his dreams! How stupid is that? But actually when he felt asleep, he entered a world of imaginations, he saw her in his dreams, very closely, till he was woken up. Now his life was taking a sharp turn, from absolute emptiness to a world full of happiness!

Of love and lies...- Part 1

This is a story of a girl and about her roller coaster ride in the world of fantasies, love, dreams, and lies and betrayals...or betrayals, lies, dreams, love and fantasies should we say, aptly defining her life in that unusual chronology...

She was sitting at the corner of her bed in her room and looking out of the window at the tall trees and the orange evening sky. Dusk was setting in. Cool breeze was caressing her beautiful tresses as she lost herself in the old memories...sweet memories... She never thought her life would change so much and so drastically from good to bad and back to good...All because of one guy...

Let me tell you something about him...

One fine day....

A day like other days, when the hopes of new and good things happening were just negligible, a day Sahil thought was just a filler like rest of his life, it started so ordinarily that he didn't even remember what he did when he woke up.

It was a cheerful morning. It was mid-August when the senior college sessions had just begun. As scheduled Sahil was there at the lecture hall in the college at 8 am. He was a first year B.Sc student. He was blank, nothing to win nothing to lose.  He was just being himself, just one thing he had in his mind-  to attend the lecture. The zoology professor came in the class just in time. The lecture started and he was very much engrossed in it. By doing so, he was just filling up the void in his life, but still keeping a hope that he would learn something useful.

After a while when the professor started going to the complex levels of the topics and he was not understanding the things that were being explained, he hit his saturation point and lost the interest. He started looking around... He turned back to look at his classmates, he looked out of the window, there was nothing special just like the things always are..

After two more minutes, a noise from the corridor outside his class grabbed Sahil's attention.  He looked outside across the glass door. It was a group of girls from the management wing flocking the place, for the reason unknown to  him. And then his eyes were stuck on a shine. It was some one stranger to him, but way different than others, someone special. The sun rays gave a glow to her face, golden glow. Her hair shone in the sun, like copper-gold filaments.. And a big smile, which defined serenity and innocence. He didn't have any idea, who else was there in that group, just because his eyes never moved off from her.

The lecture was over and Sahil was pulled back to his life. He realized that he had skipped a fairly big chunk of what was taught. But things had changed a lot in his life in just those few minutes. His heart gave him a strange feeling, more than happiness, and emotion that can't be expressed, its like the heart is giggling and tickling you from the inside trying its best to bring out a smile on your face. He jumped onto his bike and left for his friend's place. That day while driving back, he was smiling, some kind of contented feeling in his heart and mind. He was happy, unreasonably...

Sahil's heart kept on tickling him. He was kind of lost in daydreams. But it was not something a friend would notice because he looked silent and lost., as he had always appeared to be. He returned home, lay down on the bed, and the girl was still there, in his mind and heart, the cheerful, bubbly,cute girl..

He was now badly waiting for the next day at college.

Image courtesy- DeviantArt.com